A Written Funeral Plan: Your Last Chance to Call the Shots (and Save Your Family a Headache)

As Pennsylvania estate planning attorneys, we talk with clients every day about preparing for the future. We discuss Wills, Trusts, and Powers of Attorney. But there is one crucial document, often overlooked, that can provide your family with the most profound comfort and relief during their darkest hour: a written plan for your funeral and the disposition of your remains.

While it may seem morbid, pre-planning your final arrangements is not an act of self-focus; it's the ultimate gift of love and clarity you can give your surviving family. Think of it as your final—and most important—to-do list.

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Bottom Line:

Issue	Solution	Benefit
Grief & Decisions	Create a written plan for your funeral and remains.	Relieves your grieving family of stressful, high-cost decisions.
Family Conflict	Document your wishes clearly using a worksheet.	Prevents family disputes over burial, music, and service details.
Pennsylvania Law	Use a "Statement of Contrary Intent" (included in an Estate Plan).	Ensures the person you choose (not just next-of-kin) has legal authority over your final wishes.
Next Steps	Download our Free Funeral Planning Worksheet below.	Takes the stress out of planning and ensures your wishes are honored.

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The Unbearable Burden of Decision-Making

When a loved one passes away, the family’s world is turned upside down. They are engulfed in profound grief and emotional vulnerability. In the midst of this overwhelming heartache, they are often forced to make dozens of immediate, high-stakes decisions with little time and no guidance.

Imagine your spouse or children, barely able to process their loss, suddenly being asked to determine:

• Burial or cremation? (A question that should be settled, not debated.)

• Which funeral home to use and what level of services to choose?

• What casket or urn is appropriate? (Spoiler: The most expensive one is not legally required.)

• What music, hymns, or readings should be included in the service? (You may want traditional hymns, but without a plan, your nephew might pick contemporary hits —don't risk it.)

• Do you want military honors at your funeral; on your headstone?

• What charity should receive memorial gifts in your name?

Without your clear input, this process is fraught with stress and potential conflict. Loved ones may struggle with doubt over whether they are truly honoring your wishes, or they may disagree entirely on the best way forward, which can lead to family disputes and court involvement during a time when they should be mourning together. This emotional pressure also leads to a common mistake: overspending, as family members feel compelled to provide the "best" for their loved one, often straining their finances unnecessarily.

Pennsylvania Law: Who's in Charge of Your Body?

In Pennsylvania, the right to control the disposition of a person’s remains is governed by a strict hierarchy, typically falling to the surviving spouse, and then to the next of kin (children, parents, siblings).

This is where the planning becomes critical. If you are not married to your partner, are separated but not divorced, or are estranged from your statutory next-of-kin, your wishes could be completely ignored.

The good news? Pennsylvania law allows you to override this statutory order by formally documenting a “Contrary Intent.” This explicit, written expression of your wishes is essential to ensure that the person you trust most—and not a potentially estranged family member—is the one making these critical decisions. By writing down your plan, you legally ensure your voice is the final one.

A Plan is a Blueprint for Your Loved Ones

By creating a written plan, you transform a period of confusion into a structured, manageable process. Our funeral planning worksheet helps you document all the necessary details, from the logistical to the personal:

• Final Disposition: Clearly state your preference for burial or cremation, including the preferred cemetery and plot. You can also specify your notes for the care of your body, such as wishes regarding organ donation or embalming.

• Personal Touches: Document important life history for an obituary (like your birth location, religious history, and family information). You can also pre-select your preferred attire, jewelry, and even flowers.

• Logistics: Name your preferred funeral home and ensure the location of your Will or Trust is known.

A written plan ensures that the celebration of your life truly reflects you—your personality, your faith, and your values—while allowing your family the peace they need to grieve.

Take the First Step Today

Don’t wait until it’s too late to give your family this final, loving gift of clarity.  We invite you to download our free funeral planning worksheet to begin documenting your wishes. We offer a Standard Worksheet and a Faith-Forward Family Worksheet specifically designed for Christian families.

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